Life on the road....

So once again I am in Evansvill. I've come to see it as my second home, I am here so often.I cant wait to return home tomorrow night (Tuesday). I am tired of being away from my wife! As far as the job hunt, I have applied for many and got a lot of emails saying that the are going to pursue other candidates. I really don't want another job to be honest. Out of all the jobs I have had, I must say I like this one the most. I really feel like I am in my place. I feel like I have so many opportunities with this business, I just wish the company could grow to offer the benefits I need in life. As far as moving in with Shay's Dad; I feel it might be up in the air. Kim (Shay's sister) is going to take me to this place she went to when she was disabled, that will pay your rent. If I can get on that then I believe it might just be what I have been asking God for when I pray. I hope he is leading me this way. I know this is a ramble but I have found a new found place with God. I must admit the past 2 years I decided not to believe in Jesus (but still God) due to not having faith in the bible. Over the past month once Shay was diagnosed with Cancer I have been going to him for help and assistance with prayer. He hasn't given me the answers but he has given me a peace of mind as if it will all work out, he has a greater plan for Shay and I. I mean maybe he gave Shay cancer to get us closer to him and pray more as well as both of us have completely kicked the smoking habit to the curb. I mean yes the whole situation is bad but when you take a step back and check out all the good things that have come from it you will see what an amazing God we have and how he may just have a bigger plan. The only thing I am praying and asking for at this time is a little guidance on how the plan works from here. I have come to realize that he is in control but he likes to put the ball in our court sometimes; let us lead our own lives because he loves us and wants us to be free. Someone smart once said if you love it set it free and if it loves you it will come back.... I feel that's how our relationship with God can be sometime. Needless to say I have found a new faith in the bible and Jesus. I mean recently we have been going back to church and it seams as every message is about us directly like God is sending us signs about our lives. The lord works in wonderous ways and I just want to thank Him so much for every thing he has done for me and Shay recently. I know we don't have all the answers and some parts of our lives he is going to let us decide (Career change; Where to live) but I thank him for everything because I rather be homeless; jobless; without anything at all as long as I have Him and Shaylynn in my life between them my life couldn't be any better. Now I don't want to leave y'all out I do thank him every day for my friends and family. but y'all know what its like to have a significant other, a person that is your backbone when your weak and someone to take care of you when you don't know how to take care of yourself. So I thank him every day for Shaylynn's, life and all the good things he brought to us by giving us one small challenge of cancer. Like I said its a rant; but I love all of you, friends and family and I love you Father, Son, Holy spirit and Thank you so much for the love of my life Shaylynn!