WHY I LOVE LOUISVILLE

1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is pronounced "LOO-ah-vull" but you won't find it spelled that way except on a t-shirt at the Louisville International Airport.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Louisville has its own version of traffic rules-the truck with the loudest exhaust goes next at a four-way stop. The truck wth the biggest tires goes after that.(Note:Blue haired ladies driving anything have the right of way anytime.)

3. To find anything in Loo-ah-vull it is required that you know where the "Old Sears Building" is, the Alpha and Omega-the begining and the end.

4. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot

6. You must know that Jefferson Freeway, Gene Snyder Freeway, I 265 and 841
are all the same road.

7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Loo-ah-vull. The barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next day's drive a bit more exciting.

8.Watch very carefully for road hazards such as pot holes, cones, barrels, pieces of other cars, cows horses, cats, opossum, squirrels, rabbits, and crows or vultures feeding on these items.

9. If someone has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated".

10. The minimum speed on the Gene Snyder (see above) is 85 mph. Anything less is considered sissy. This is Kentucky's version of NASCAR.

11. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.

12. If you are in the left lane and only going 70 in a 55 zone- you are considered a road hazard and will be flipped off accordingly.

13. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city driving.

14. If it is 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.

15. If it is 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Kentucky Derby Festival is going on