The Irony of it all

Not that I am entirely using the word ironic in the correct context or that this will make any sense....

There is this aggonizing feeling inside of me, pulling at me with all it's force. This feeling overwhelms me every so often for no apparent reason. I am not completly sure what triggers it--all I know is that it is a sensation of an utter absence in my life. I have learned to cope and I feel only numbness towards it. I have yet to express these feelings until now I can no longer contain the pure irony if it all. In a moment of weakness (or shall I say drunkeness) I chose to express how I felt to a true friend and the next day...bamb-there I was confronted with it all. I am not really sure what to make of it yet. I am willing. I will let these strong walls down for maybe just a moment in time. I know this makes no sense to a lot of you but it will make sense to the one who is supposed to understand. Lots of love.